Welcome to my second Christmas in July special. Last year, we covered the infamous Power Rangers Christmas Special, now we're gonna dive further into the rabbit hole with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. But first, here's a history lesson about the Ninja Turtles franchise.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles began life as a series of comic books created by Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. The comics were meant to be parodies of popular comics at the time, including Daredevil. In 1987, in an attempt to sell action figures, the comics were transformed into the popular animated series that many children grew up with back in the late 80's and early 90's. I've actually watched a few episodes and the 1990 live action movie and I actually found them entertaining in their own right. They may be juvenile and silly but they were fun to watch.
By the early 90's, interest in the Ninja Turtles were slowly declining. Kids at the time were moving on to other superhero shows like Batman The Animated Series and Power Rangers, and the sequels to the 1990 movie made less money. Yet somehow, some children's entertainment company decided to make a rushed and lazy live action direct to video Christmas special and dumped the project to video stores in late 1994 because that's somehow gonna give the Turtles a new audience. Let's see what went wrong, shall we?
The basic premise of the special is that the Turtles forgot to give their sewer rat mentor named Splinter a Christmas gift, so they they have to go Christmas shopping across New York City to find Christmas gifts and singing and dancing ensue. No crime fighting, no diabolical super villains coming with evil plans to take over the city, just terrible renditions of classic Christmas songs.
The Turtles costumes are terrible and I'm not being picky because the first two films have excellent animatronics and costumes from Jim Henson's Creature Shop. But the costumes here are just lazy. You can see gaps where the neck meets the head, and the shells wobble sometimes. The lip syncing is just as bad and the facial expressions are just plain creepy.
There's also a lot of times of the director wasn't really paying any attention. In the scene when the Turtles are recapping the Christmas gifts, one of the Turtles is holding 5 yellow yo-yos yet you can hear a voice saying 6 yo-yos.
The songs are weak. In addition of terrible renditions of classic Christmas songs, you also get songs that do nothing but pad the running time like "Gotta Get a Gift for Splinter" or "Wrap Rap." Also, aren't the Turtles secretive warriors? Why are the people in New York City not freaking out when 4 human sized turtles are walking around in plain sight?
Last but not least, the terrible voice acting. The Turtles often speak in in surfer lingo yet at one point, one of the turtles suddenly has a Jamaican during their version of Deck the Halls. As for Splinter's voice, anyone can do a better Splinter impression than this voice actor.
We Wish You A Turtle Christmas is one of the worst holiday specials that has ever walked the planet. Everything about this "special" is wrong. The poor production values, the music, the premise, the plot, even the title. It's all terrible. If you're a Ninja Turtles fan, don't even bother seeing this special and avoid it at all costs. If you're not, this will not change your mind. It shouldn't be made at all.
RATING: 0/4
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